When Patience is Painful

This week’s post is a bit of a departure from what I usually write. Adventures aren’t always fun and exciting, sometimes they’re painful. Since I graduated with my Master of Public Health degree in May, I’ve been applying and interviewing for jobs. I’ve had a number of interviews and yet, I’m still unemployed. I am working 5 days a week at Dick’s Sporting Goods, but my pay check barley covers my bills, food, and gas then it’s gone. On top of that I had to pay $1,000 to extend my health insurance through the end of 2018 and my student loan grace period ends in November. (not fun)

More than anything, I’m struggling with the rejection. I should be better at understanding that life is filled with many twists and turns but it still hurts. Lately, I’ve been praying a lot and trying to find patience in God’s timing. Last night, I was listening to the podcast Jesus Calling. They were interviewing the drummer for the band Skillet, Jen Ledger. She spoke about how timing can be difficult but it is beyond our control. She refers to the bible story of Joseph. In the story he was meant to be second in command of Egypt, but he went through years of prison before ever getting there. She says that if God had wanted Joseph out of the prison then he would have been, however He had other things in mind for Joseph to learn during that time.

I know that not everyone reading this is Christian, religious, or even spiritual but perhaps all of us can learn and take comfort in the fact that timing is often completely out of our hands and patience is key. I know that stressing, crying, or being frustrated won’t change my unemployment situation so I might as well just find joy in the present and try to learn something.

A few years ago, after I finished undergrad, I was set to move to Brazil and work with a street ministry there. However, when it came to getting a visa, it was one disappointment after another. I drove 4 hours to the visa office more times then I care to remember and every time the officer would find something wrong with my paperwork and turned me away, again and again. I was basically told that since I wasn’t Mormon or Catholic, I wasn’t getting a long-term visa. Bureaucracy.

However, after 6 months of stress and disappointment, I ended up in South Korea. I got an offer from homeless school there and the visa process went super smoothly. It also turns out that living and working Korea was one of the best experiences of my life. I truly believe I was meant to go there, and the time spent trying to get to Brazil was for another lesson entirely, empathy.

Over those 6 months of upset, I got a small (privileged) dose of what people go through all around the world on a daily basis. People all over the world stand in visa lines everyday trying to flee a country from war, famine, or just trying to enter a country for more educational or job opportunities. These people are often turned down with as much or even less explanation then I got. In the end, I wasn’t able to get a visa to Brazil, but it didn’t put me in mortal or financial danger, it just hurt. I was fortunate.

Long story short, I’m currently working on my patience and trying to learn something during this season of waiting. Last time I learned empathy for those struggling with the visa process globally, but this time I’m not sure. Hindsight will be 20/20, I guess. Either way I believe that patience is a virtue and timing is out of my control. If you’re currently struggling with unemployment, know that you’re not alone. It hurts right now but eventually we’ll land something and, I believe, it will be the perfect “fit”. Below is my headshot because this post needs something visual:

Headshot Fall 2017.JPG

Perhaps you hate job hunting. Perhaps you love unemployment. You do you, boo.

Best,

michelle.

Completely unrelated: Shout out to my friend, Deangelo. He has an awesome YouTube channel and I promised I’d give him a shout out this week. 🙂

 

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